A lot of things happening in quick succession. If you are thinking this refers to Twitter, it does. It also refers to Mondays, to dance parties, to non-dance party responsible adult life, and to life in the twenty-first century as a whole. Modern Times, these days.
AnimalsDogsCorgisSnowBackflipsWow that was cool let's do it againPerfect landingsWell, that's a different way to chase somethingNinja skills
This isn't what it sounds like. It's an update of a satirical—correction: bitingly satirical—dictionary from 1913 by Ambrose Bierce. The Dictionary included definitions like "Apologize, v. To lay the foundation for a future offense." Definitions like that make it easy to see why this has endured. That is pithy, sharp writing with a twist of cynicism all the way through.
And although we here at The Dailies are not fans of cynical outlooks on like, we're also firm believers in Peter Ustinov's quote that "humor is just a funny way of making a point." And The Verge's spiritual successor, The New Devil's Dictionary, is a trenchant criticism and deconstruction of modern terms, unafraid to laugh at the ridiculousness of both the terms and the entire exercise itself.
Here's a handful of its snark:
Kanye (n.): The talent of an unstoppable force married with the tact of an immovable object.
Kickstarter (n.): A contemporary take on the marketplace wherein people exchange money for lies.
Tinder (n.): Unlike war, a method of determining both who is right, and who is left.
Amazon Prime (n.): A parasite used by an apex predator to sedate its human host.
But nothing compares to the branding definition:
brand (n.): The locus of the true “self.” Branding has been one of the principal problems of philosophy since the fourth century BCE. Plutarch, an ancient historian, is famous for having relayed the paradox of the Shipment of Theseus, one of the most widely cited thought experiments on personal identity.
The dopeness of the teens of Athens, Georgia was preserved, for they ordered new hats as their stickers decayed, putting in newer and fresher brims, insomuch that these teens became a standing example among the philosophers, for the logical question of personal brands that grow; one side holding that the teens remained just as dope, and the other contending that they were not as dope.
LanguageArtHumorTruthinessDeconstructionInheriting the wind