A flock of geese. Or a group of things that are not non-goose birds. Why would you make such a broad term so oddly specific for one group of things? And why would you make a verb that means "to cackle" into a noun that means "a group?" Who hasn't wanted to gaggle?
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The Westminster Dog Show was this week, and college football writer/madman Spencer Hall once again reviewed the dog breeds in the show. Though this installment isn't as good as 2014's tour de force (go read this, we'll still be here), it's packed full of terrific quotes:
BERNESE MOUNTAIN DOG
Gentrification with four paws. If you put more than four in one space, a coffeeshop with three craft beer taps appears on the nearest streetcorner.
BOXER
X-Rays reveal its interior contains no organs, only springs, chewed up shoes, and huge clouds of pure fart gas.
GREAT DANE
Deceptive in that they are actually aliens piloting giant dogbots designed to commandeer the most important territory on earth for colonization: the most comfortable couches or beds in any home.
(Seriously, go read the 2014 article, if only to find the most accurate definitions of all terrier breeds.)
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