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First things first: the title of this article—40 Sea Gulls Wrecked His Hotel Room. 17 Years Later, a Pepperoni Pardon.—is the greatest headline we've seen in YEARS.
Also, it's a funny, touching story told well. The short version: Burchill brought some pepperoni on a trip for friends and left it on an open windowsill in the hotel to keep it cool. The result?
The sight that greeted him when he returned to his room hours later can only be described as “an explosion,” he wrote. About 40 sea gulls had sneaked in through a small opening in the window and were having a feast, he told the CBC radio show "As It Happens."
“They’d been eating Brothers TNT pepperoni — I’m specific with the TNT because it’s hot,” he recalled. “They’d been eating that for about five hours, and you can imagine what the room looked like. They were carrying on their life processes in there.”
...
His sudden appearance startled the birds, which tried to leave but kept crashing into the lamps and the curtains.
Most people would’ve probably called housekeeping then. But Mr. Burchill waded in and tried to take back his room. He said he opened all the windows to let the birds out. When one tried to return, he hurled a shoe — light brown. Shoe and bird sailed out of the window.
One bird did not seem to want to leave, so he flung a bath towel over it and threw it out, as well. “I had forgotten that sea gulls cannot fly when they are wrapped in a towel,” he admitted.
Amazing—and this is about half of the story. Go read the whole thing at The New York Times.
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